The narcissist is never there for you because they lack empathy. They lack the ability to understand and share your feelings. Which is why it will seem like they just don't care. Which is why you will feel emotionally weak whenever you are around them. If you need emotional strength, you need to find somewhere else to get it. Because they're not going to be there for you. You may want their emotional support, but they're not going to give it to you. Because they don't have enough to go around. Which is why they may often seem detached when you need them to care for you. They will go off and do something else. They will play on their phone. Because they don't want to deal with it.
They don't want to deal with your emotions. They don't know how to love and care for you. Because they were never taught how to do that. And you cannot raise someone who is already an adult. If they don't have empathy now, they're never going to have it. It's too late. They're not going to care if you're upset about something. Or if you need their emotional support. It will just irritate and annoy them. And it will eventually anger you. It will cause you to become resentful. Because you're being treated unfairly. You're not being treated with the love and respect that you deserve. But they don't have enough empathy to give to you. They barely have enough for themselves. So when you're upset about something, they're not going to be there for you.
They're not going to share your feelings. They're not going to give you sympathy or support. They're not even going to try to understand you. You will have to get that empathy from somewhere else. Because even if they do give you what little empathy they have, they will expect something from you in return. There's always a double standard with the narcissist. They won't show any care or concern for you. But they will expect you to do that for them. They will expect you to immediately stop what you are doing and attend to them.
They will expect a lot from you. But you can't expect the same treatment from them. Because they won't do the same thing for you. You may be very kind and generous. But before you do things for the narcissist, you need to ask yourself if they would do the same thing for you. Would they take the time to understand you? Would they help you to feel better?
They probably wouldn't. But you keep doing it for them. Because you think they're going to change. You think they're going to learn from your actions. You think they're going to see the error of their ways. But they won't. You cannot teach a narcissist how to care for you. They don't care about you. They will only do something if it benefits them. They won't do it for you. So you need to take that kindness and generosity that you're giving to the narcissist. And give it to yourself. Because they're not going to reciprocate. They're not going to give anything back to you in return.
They're not going to replenish your emotional energy. So you're going to end up emotionally starved. Which is why it is important for you to recognise that they do not understand your emotions. Before it gets to that point. You need to recognise that your emotions irritate and annoy them. They don't want to deal with that. They can only express their emotions through sexual acts. That's their idea of comforting you. And even then, it's still all about them. So don't expect empathy from the narcissist. Don't expect them to be there for you.
This was very well written. It is so true. They cannot give you something that they do not have. Thank you for writing this. It's given me something to think about. Love your new car! 🤭 From the inside out, of course. 🌿 Carly