When the narcissist first met you, they were fascinated and intrigued by you. You aroused their curiosity and they became strongly attracted and interested in you. There were things about you that made you stand out from everyone else. Things that drew them to you. Narcissists are superficial, they care a lot about what people see on the surface. So one of the main things that drew them to you was your physical appearence. They realised that you are a physically attractive person, not only to them, but that you would be considered to be desirable by those around them. Narcissists want what everyone else wants, because then they can use it to obtain supply. It makes them look good. Aside from your physical appearence, they were attracted to various qualities, talents and traits you possessed. These are most often qualities, talents and traits that the narcissist does not possess, although they will try to fake them to present a false image to the world. An example of these qualities, talents and traits could be your happiness and contentment, charisma, self motivation, self belief, self assurance, empathy and consideration. When they first met you they admired all of these qualities, talents and traits. But they didn't admire them as though they were yours and as though you were a separate being. Narcissists see you as an extension of them, so by interacting or engaging with you they hoped that maybe these qualities, talents and traits could rub off on them. They also see you as a shiny new toy, they assume that by possessing you they will be the envy of everyone around them. As though everyone around them wants to possess you, this shiny new toy, but they've got you so it makes them special or above everyone else. As well as your qualities, talents and traits, this may also apply to your status, money or power. Anything they can use to make them look good around other people. After meeting the narcissist, your likes and interests soon become a significant part of their lives. When you first met them, they were eager to know everything about you. They were eager to know about anything you liked or anything that interested you. They used these likes or interests to mirror you and appeal to your own ideals. They didn't do this just to manipulate you. Narcissists are insecure and have low self esteem. They hate themselves. Nothing about them is real. Everything you see, their character, personality, qualities, talents and traits... are all just bits and pieces that they have picked from other people. They have nothing authentic or real of their own. They are constantly trying to mould themselves into whatever they think people want to see. So when they first met you and witnessed all of the attention and admiration you received just by being you, they wanted to be a part of it. They wanted some of that attention or admiration. They assume that by imitating you and hijacking your likes or interests, maybe people would look at them in a similar way. They live through you and your own ideals, using them to construct this new character and personality. This new character is designed to obtain the attention and admiration that you do. It is designed to make the narcissist feel as though they are something of value or significance. The problem is, it doesn't work out the way that they expected it to in their minds. And they don't obtain the level of attention and admiration that they initially expected to. They look at you and how people are noticing you or wanting to be around you. It becomes a competition. The frustration and resentment builds within them as they try to compete with you for attention and admiration. They are frustrated because they cannot get the same fulfilment from your likes or interests, or your qualities, talents and traits. They are resentful because when they met you they expected you to provide them with supply, to provide them with attention and admiration. Now in their minds, you are stealing their spotlight. You are taking everything that was meant to be theirs. Because in their minds, when they first met you, the plan was for you to support them and help them to get the attention and admiration that they need. You were not supposed to outshine them, that was not what they had envisioned in their minds. You were supposed to compliment them and make them look good. In their minds, not only did you fail to deliver on their vision, which they never openly discussed. But you also became a threat to everything that they were trying to accomplish. Now when the narcissist sees you, it becomes a painful reminder of where they failed, of where they couldn't succeed. Your happiness and contentment reflects on them and how miserable and dissatisfied they feel. They tried to adopt your likes and interests, your qualities, talents and traits. But they couldn't get the same fulfilment. They couldn't experience the same happiness or content from those things. So now they turn against them and they turn against you. Because it failed to provide them with what they had envisioned. You failed to provide them with what they had envisioned. This is why they become so hateful, so frustrated and resentful towards you. Because in their minds you didn't provide them with what they had envisioned, although it was something you never openly spoke about or agreed upon. They tried to adopt your likes and interests, but then realised that they could not get the same fulfilment. They began to realise that your qualities, talents and traits could never be theirs. It interacts with who they are or what they're about and how what you're about could be better or more desirable. And this is how they see it and what they believe in their minds. They believe that you are something great, something valuable and significant. But this then reflects on them and makes them feel insecure or as though they are not good enough. Instead of reflecting on these emotions, they project them on to you. They want to destroy the thing that they are envious of, because it reveals something negative or an insecurity of theirs. So now they become envious of you and everything that you possess. And everything that once fascinated or intrigued them, is now worthless or beneath their consideration. They have to make you feel as though you're nothing, useless and insignificant. It's their way of neutralising a threat to their egos and their self esteem. Because when they see you for what you are, it reflects on them and how they don't feel good enough. So they have to alter their perceptions and see you in a negative light. They will devalue and degrade you. Publicly humiliate and exploit you. Most of this is just a projection of their own self hatred and how they couldn't get the fulfilment that they had initially envisioned. They expected your qualities, talents and traits to rub off on them. They intended to use you to obtain supply, to obtain attention and admiration. But then realised that your qualities, talents and traits could never be theirs. They become frustrated and resentful. Deeply hateful and envious towards you. Like they have a chip on their shoulder. They hold grudges and never forgive. The reason for this is because they are self absorbed and lack empathy, they only care about themselves. When they met you, it was all about what they could extract from you, rather than what they could give or share. They had this sense of arrogance and entitlement, as though they deserve everything that you have to offer. Nothing is ever enough for them though. No matter how much you pour into them, it always leaks out. They can never be satisfied or fulfilled. They depend on external sources to give them a sense of value or significance, but it never sustains them. Self worth and self esteem are meant to come from within, yet they depend on external sources to provide this to them. It always results in them feeling disappointed. And this is why they become frustrated and resentful towards you. Because in their minds, you didn't deliver on some unspoken promise. Some fantasy they had envisioned in their minds. If they discarded you, don't blame yourself or think that you were not good enough, it was unavoidable really. You cannot please an unpleaseable person, a person who cannot be satisfied. Nothing you do will ever be enough for them. Yet you will notice that following the discard, they will find someone else who even at a superficial level may be far below the standard that they were used to when they were with you. The narcissist will idealise this person and regard them as being perfect or better than they are in reality. Deep down they don't really believe it. But they know that they have to idealise someone to project their feelings of hatred, anger, envy and jealousy on to you. And if they can get you to believe that this person is better than you for whatever reason, it makes it more believable to them. They have to find someone else as quickly as possible, to dodge the narrative that something is wrong with them or they are not right. They have to find someone else to make it look like something is wrong with you. And they will settle for whatever they find, because once this frustration and resentment towards you has developed and they have this chip on their shoulder, they have to see anyone as being better than you. In their minds, you couldn't fulfil them. You couldn't deliver on what they had envisioned in their minds. So in their minds something is wrong with you, you're worthless, beneath their consideration. Because any time that they see you, they do not feel good. They feel like shit because your physical appearence, your happiness and contentment, your qualities, talents and traits... which initially fascinated and intrigued them... are now a reminder to them of everything they're not, everything they wish they could be, everything they tried so hard to become. All of this reflects on them and how they really feel about themselves. Beneath the arrogance, entitlement and grandiosity, they believe that they are the ones who are worthless or beneath consideration. Yet they chose to project these feelings on to you, so that you could express it for them. Which then gave them supply and regulated their emotions. It temporarily relieved them of their pain and suffering. I've mentioned that you couldn't deliver on what they had envisioned in their minds. And this is why they became so frustrated and resentful towards you. What they had envisioned in their minds is usually an impossible expectation, which they could never deliver on, yet they expect it from you. What they had envisioned in their minds was most likely your life revolving around them, supporting them, giving them attention and admiration whenever they needed it. Letting them abuse and manipulate you without ever confronting them. Without ever seeing them in a negative light. They basically expected you to give them whatever they want, whenever they wanted it. Using everything good about you to benefit them or to give them supply from other people. While letting them dump their negativity on to you and you being grateful for it. It really is an impossible expectation, but this is what they had envisioned in their minds. They become hateful and envious towards you because you didn't deliver on this vision. They never look at themselves and think that maybe they had unrealistic expectations or they could never be satisfied. They are shame based individuals doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame, so they are going to try to make you feel that you're not good enough or something is wrong with you. They want you to carry their shame. They turn against everything that initally fascinated and intrigued them, because it couldn't satisfy them. It couldn't live up to the unrealistic expectations they had in their minds. They couldn't partake and get the same fulfilment from your likes and interests or share your happiness and contentment. Your happiness and contentment interacts with them and how they are not happy or fulfilled in life. And every time they see you it reflects on them and becomes a reminder of this.
So they turn against you and treat you with contempt.
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