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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

When The Narcissist Isn't Talking To You

The narcissist will stop talking to you usually as the result of some disagreement. Maybe you questioned and confronted them. Maybe you figured them out. Or maybe your supply lost its potency. Maybe they got bored. Because narcissists need constant entertainment. They're never at rest. They always feel like they're missing out on something. They always think the grass is greener on the other side. They always think there's something better. Because they couldn't accept you. Nothing you did was good enough for them. But they can't accept things about people in general. And that is why it's an endless cycle.Where they discard one person and move on to the next. Because they can't accept anyone.


They can't even accept themselves. They can't accept anything that is wrong with them. And that is why they make great efforts to seem perfect. And then they look for that perfection in other people. So they will get rid of you eventually. Or they will try to mould you into what they want you to be. They will never accept you for who you are. You will never feel like you can be yourself around the narcissist. And you will never be able to change them. They're always going to be that way. So you're just wasting your time and energy. Which could be spent on finding someone you like. Because you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can't change their habits or character. By default, they would have to be fake.





The narcissist cannot accept your flaws or imperfections. They expect you to be perfect. You never expected them to be perfect. But they expect you to be what they strive to be. And you will never be perfect. You will never be everything that they want you to be. So eventually, it's going to end. Because they can't accept you. So they're destined to criticise and discard you. Because they don't accept themselves. They have no inner sense of value. Which is why they're always looking for attention and validation. Which is why they're always looking for acceptance outside of themselves. So you will never be enough for the narcissist.


The grass will always be greener on the other side. Instead of accepting you, they drift without any clear purpose or direction. They betray you. Because they were always looking for the next bigger better deal. The next shiny new toy. Instead of thinking about how they're going to give something back to you. They're very selfish. Because they lack confidence. They can't depend on themselves. So they're always looking for someone who can do everything for them. Which is why they put you on a pedestal when they first met you. Because they thought you were this person who was going to change their life. But after some time it began to wear off. And they stopped talking to you. Because it was too overwhelming for them.


It was too much work. And they couldn't get what they want. So they started fantasising about other situations. While you were trying to hold them accountable. While you were trying to figure out why they didn't like you. But this is why they stopped talking to you. Because they just didn't want to deal with it anymore. It was too much for them to manage. They were underqualified for the position of being with you. Because they're not self-reliant. So they expected you to do all of the work. But they won't completely cut you off. They will put you on the shelf. Because they still depend on you. You have something that they want.





Maybe you give them money or a place to stay. Maybe you accept them as they are. You accept their emotional outbursts. And that's what they want. But when you don't tolerate it, it's too overwhelming for them. So they stop talking to you. But they won't always end the relationship, because they might want to come back. But when they're not talking to you, they're usually entertaining someone else. Whatever they're not getting from you, they will go somewhere else to get it. Because in their minds, you're not good enough for them. But you will never be good enough for them. Because they're not enough for themselves. So they will go and have a short period of enjoyment and wild behaviour with someone else.


They will use it as a means to control you. Because they know that it hurts you. But then they will come back like nothing happened. And you won't have an opportunity to talk about what they did to you. When the narcissist isn't talking to you, it's because they're off entertaining other people. They're building their inflated feeling of pride in their superiority to other people. They always need people to do that. But it's never enough. You were never enough. And even the people they cheat on you with are never enough. Which is why they often come back to you.


Don't let the narcissist disrespect you. You will only let them do that if you do not respect yourself. And if you do not respect yourself, other people will not respect you. It will affect your self worth and self-esteem. And you will struggle to leave the relationship. So when the narcissist stops talking to you, see it as a blessing. And don't let them back in.




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