Hey survivors In this video I am going to be discussing what the narcissist really wants from you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos.
If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one on one coaching, you can email me at narcsurvivorcoaching@gmail.com
What Does The Narcissist Really Want From You? Narcissists want narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply is like a drug, it regulates their emotions and boosts their self esteem. Like any drug, they chase narcissistic supply for pain relief. It creates an addiction which they use to provide relief from their emotional or physical pain. They are addicted to your emotional reactions or pain and the relief that it gives them. Narcissistic supply isn't always about you admiring or validating the narcissist. It also involves being their emotional punching bag. You are the person they use to take out of all of their frustration and emotional distress. If they had a bad day at work or someone upset them and they couldn't react in the way that they wanted to react... They will hold on to that anger and frustration and take it out on you. So what the narcissist really wants is someone to put up all of the abuse and still love and accept them. Never questioning or confronting them. You get nothing in return, but they expect you to be grateful for even having the privilege of being their punching bag. The most damaging part about it is that you go through all of this pain, disturbance, confusion and uncertainty... and in return you get nothing. And not only do you get nothing, you often lose a lot of what you already had before you met them. Due to the narcissist's arrogance and entitlement, they believe that this is what they are worthy or deserving of. They believe that they deserve someone who loves and accepts them, no matter what they do, never questioning or confronting them. It never works out that way, because what they want is really an impossible expectation. But this is what they want. Someone they can control and dominate, do whatever they want to and whatever they want to do, you agree to it, you let them do it and you even go back for more. That's what they want. They have so much frustration and emotional distress within them, that they need someone to take it out on. Usually what causes them frustration and emotional distress has nothing to do with you But they will take it out on you, they will project it on to you. Because in their minds, you are the closest person to them. You are the person that they are most intimately involved with. So whenever something frustrates them or causes them emotional distress, they take it out on you. It's really sick and twisted that they could actually view this as acceptable behaviour and that you should be grateful for doing that. It's unrealistic and an impossible expectation, but they can't see it because they're only thinking about what they want or what they expect from you. They don't consider how this might affect you or if it's something that you're ok with. Because in their minds they are so great that you should feel privileged to be in their presence. Whatever they do to you, you should accept and be grateful for it. Once you decide to stop putting up with the abuse and you begin questioning or confronting them. They are not going to stick around to put themselves beneath something they believe they are greater than. They are also going to be expecting you to want revenge on them. It's not difficult for them to move on, because they know they never gave you anything valuable or significant for you to love them. And what they did give to you wasn't real anyway. When they first met you, they mirrored you and appealed to your own ideals. They weren't about any of that, but they knew that you were. From that point on, they knew that the relationship had an expiration date, because they were never about anything that they said they were. They were never the person that they portrayed themselves to be. And they know that it is only a matter of time until you figure them out. So they always knew right from the beginning that the relationship was going to end. And even if it didn't end, they would know that you don't really love them. They knew that the only reason you were with them is because they were successful at manipulating you. If they didn't manipulate you, you would never have been interested in them. They knew that you didn't love them. You couldn't love them, because they were never real or genuine with you. You loved the fantasy, the illusion that they portrayed to you. They basically held a mirror in front of you and you fell in love with yourself. Once you've figured all of this out and you realise it was just a game all along. They know that you're not going to have any compassion or forgiveness for them. And they are going to be expecting you to want revenge on them. This is usually when they will discard you, to protect their fragile ego. They know it's not love. They know that it's the fantasy, the illusion that you love. They lie to themselves that it's love, but deep down they know that it's not. Because they never gave you anything real or genuine to love. It was never love, it was manipulation. And that's why it was so easy for them to move on like you never existed. It was a simulation of love. A simulation of value and significance. None of it was real. Once you've figured them out, they're gone and it's over. Because they know that there's no future in something that started out as a game. It was never about love, it was about having someone they can control and having someone to regulate their emotions. Once you've figured them out, they're not going to stick around. Because now you know their tactics, they're not going to be able to manipulate you in the same way as they did before and they know that. It's much easier for them to move on and find someone else who is unaware of the game that they are playing. The narcissist does not have any consideration or concern for their victim. It's about survival, they just use them for emotional support. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. We have a private Reddit community where survivors and thrivers can share their experiences and knowledge. If you are interested in being a part of this community, you can sign up through our Patreon page, the link is in the video description. Check out the Narc Survivor merchandise store, where you can purchase your own Narc Survivor t-shirt or mug. We have a variety of designs and it is a great way to support the channel. The link to our Narc Survivor merchandise store is in the video description. Thank you for watching and I will talk to you soon.
Comments