You were always trying to get the narcissist to see your perspective. You were always trying to get them to understand basic ideas about love and respect. You were trying to teach them to have morals and values. Because you thought that maybe one day they would understand that what they're doing is wrong. It was like they were a child and you were their parent. As though they had never learned how to assimilate into society. Because they were always doing something wrong. They were always hurting other people.
So you assume that they don't understand what the problem is. You assume that they don't know what they're doing. Because their behaviour is foolish and reckless. They appear insensitive. They don't seem to have any regard for you or anyone else, or even for themselves. Because they even put themselves in danger. They even sabotage themselves.
So you assume that they must not get it. They must not understand what they're doing. Because a normal person would not continue to do something if they know it's hurting someone. Or if they know it's hurting themselves. But narcissists are not normal people. They understand that it is hurting you. They understand that they are hurting themselves. They just don't care. Because in that moment, they feel like you deserve it. So they don't feel like they're making a mistake. And they're not sorry.
They know that cheating, lying or stealing is wrong. They know that it's wrong to deliberately and intentionally try to hurt someone. But they don't think it's wrong for them to do it. Because they believe that you have done something very bad to them. So now, in their minds, they believe that what they're doing is justified. They believe that you deserve it. Which means that it's not wrong for them to do it. If someone else did it, it would be wrong. Because those people haven't experienced what they've had to deal with.
In their minds, they are defending themselves against you. When in reality, they're just responding to their own thoughts and feelings inside their head. And they are punishing you for that. Rather than accepting that it's coming from them. So you may not have done anything to them. Which is why no matter how much you try to talk to them or plead your case, it doesn't make a difference. It doesn't change anything. Because it has nothing to do with you anyway.
They're just using you as a vessel. Because they feel like you did something. Or you could or would have done something, if you had the opportunity. And they see their feelings as facts. What they feel becomes what you said or did. And there is no logical explanation that can resolve this. Because they do not want to believe you. And they don't care about your feelings. They don't care if they hurt you. Because it's nothing compared to what you did to them. And even if you didn't do anything, that doesn't mean you're never going to do anything.
So in their minds, you still deserve it. Which is why we talk a lot about going no contact in this community. Because there's really no point in talking to them. You're just wasting your time. You're not going to get any sense out of them. Because they're not normal, logical or rational people. They have underdeveloped minds. They're overly emotional. And they're delusional. They're in denial. And they project their issues on to other people. Sometimes you may think that you've gotten through to them.
But then you will quickly realise that you didn't. Because whatever they understood, agreed to or promised you yesterday, is no longer relevant today. There is no truth or logic in their world. It changes depending on how they feel in the moment. And their feelings can change from one moment to the next. They understand the difference between right and wrong very well. But only as long as it's not applied to them. They can tell you what you've done wrong. But they don't have that same energy for themselves. Because the truth is determined by how they feel.
So if they feel that it was justified, it doesn't apply to them. But it will always be wrong for you. They understand that stealing is wrong. But they may still steal from you if they feel that it is justified. Because they needed it. Or because you did something to them. Or because they think that you would do it to them. So they always find a way to rationalise their wrongdoing. It's the same thing with murderers. They know that it would be wrong for someone to kill them. But they don't put themselves in that category.
Because in their minds, they are special. The rules do not apply to them. Which is why they're so reckless and impulsive. It's why they take so many risks with their lives and their health. Because they have this magical thinking that the rules do not apply to them. They believe that things will work themselves out. Or someone will come along to save them. Because they believe they're special. They believe they're different to everyone else. But it never works out the way they intended.
They all end up losing in the end. They are miserable people. They always end up destroying themselves in the end. Because eventually, they take it too far. They overplay their role. They do what they said they would never do. And they end up exposing themselves. They reach a point where they cannot go any further or achieve any more. I have never seen a narcissist who continued to elevate. They all went down eventually. Because of their lifestyle and behaviours. Because of the way they choose to live their lives.
They cannot be successful for a long period of time. Their disorder doesn't allow them to succeed or function in anything consistently. Which is why they're always looking for new sources. They're always looking for someone to save them. Because they already know they're doomed. They already know that nothing good is coming to them. They have nothing to look forward to. So there's no incentive for them to act right. There's no reason for them to care about anything.
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