The narcissist is self-absorbed, they only care about themselves. Anything good they do for you is for them to obtain narcissistic supply. They will do good things for you, if it means that they can have further power and control over you. Or you will give them more attention and validate them. They will do good things for you in public, so that they can obtain attention and validation from other people too. It supports their image of being a good person or hero. But the sad truth is, the narcissist is self-absorbed. There will be an agenda behind anything good they do for you. They do not care about anyone except themselves. The narcissist expects you to give up your life. Leave your desires, dreams, interests, friendships, relationships, career... whatever it is. Just leave it all behind and forget about it. And focus on what the narcissist wants. Be a follower and a watcher of their dream and forget about your own needs. The narcissist expects you to do this voluntarily. They will make it clear verbally that you need to focus on what they are doing or what they want for you, rather than what you want for yourself. They will tell you your dreams are not good enough, your interests are a waste of time. Your friendships or relationships will be devalued or the narcissist will label them as a threat to what you share together. They will create enforce flying monkeys and create smear campaigns to sabotage any dreams, friendships, relationships or career you have. The narcissist is the star of the show. Any attention or validation you might receive becomes a threat to them. You must be below them at all times. You must not have any superior desires, dreams, interests, friendships, relationships or career to what they have had. Because any time you do becomes a reminder where the narcissist did not progress as well as they had wanted to. The narcissist expects you to forget about you desires and your dreams. None of that is important. Only the narcissist's desires and dreams are important. And you should feel privileged to watch them live their lives and live out their dreams. You do not need to achieve anything great. Because anything great you achieve isn't going to provide the narcissist with any attention or validation. You are going to steal the spotlight from them. And then the narcissist will feel inferior to you. You will become a reminder of where they have failed or where they haven't progressed or succeeded as well as they had wanted to. If the narcissist did decide to assist you in reaching your true desires and dreams, you would become a major threat to them. You would be their competition. Narcissists compete with everyone, especially on a subconscious level. Especially their close family, friends and even their relationship partner. The narcissist will never assist you in reaching your true desires or dreams. If they did that, they would then lose their power and control over you. You would be independent and no longer need them. And that is the last thing the narcissist wants. They want you to be dependent on them for the rest of their lives. After they are dead, if you are still alive... They don't really care what happens to you, they will no longer need you. But they will do their best to set you up for failure after they are gone. It is very pleasurable for a narcissist to know that you will never be able to amount to anything, solely because of their actions and influence on you. The narcissist wants to leave you so mentally and some times even physically screwed up, that you will never be good enough for anyone or anything after they are gone. They will abuse and manipulate you to the point where you can't just forget about it and move on with your life. Their abuse will leave you with all kinds of physical and mental complications. You will be emotionally destroyed. And that's exactly what they want. So you can't simply move on and find a relationship partner. You can't have a friend or someone you can trust. You can't start a new job. Because you become so weak that you no longer have the strength to do those things. You become so confused that you don't even know who you are any more. You don't know what you need to do to create the life you really want. Because they never taught you any of those things. They intentionally kept that information from you. They had the tools you were looking for all along. And they knew that you needed them. They didn't give them to you, because they do not want the best for you. They just tell you that to make you stick around. Because they know all too well that if you realise they do not want the best for you and you move on, then maybe you could actually create the life you really want. Narcissists are indeed like emotional murderers, they murder our true selves and then we have to try to get back to who we were. We have to remember what our true identities were. We have to remember what our true desires and dreams were. And then we have to figure out how we are going to get back to our true selves and how we are going to accomplish everything we originally wanted. But our plans and desires must be kept away from the narcissist at all times. You cannot let them know what your plans or desires are. Because the last thing they want is for you to move on and be happy. The last thing they want is for you to achieve your goals and live a satisfying and fulfilling life. Because they never got to do that. And you doing that will just become a reminder of everything they never got to do. There is nothing more painful and frustrating to the narcissist than a person who has suffered a lifetime of severe abuse and yet still smiles and is genuinely happy. Because no matter how much the narcissist abuses you, how much they obtain in life or how many flying monkeys they enforce... They will never feel genuinely happy or satisfied with their lives. So they will do everything they can to destroy you. And if they can't destroy you, they will destroy everything around you instead. Your desires, dreams, career, potential relationships, friendships, finances and any other interests you may have. And all of their excessive efforts to do this comes from their own insecurities and inferiority complex. They feel intense hate, anger, envy and jealousy towards you. Now I would like to go specifically into narcissistic parents who want you to sacrifice your life for them. If your parents didn't teach you anything about life, survival, education or sex. They didn't help you with your homework, other interests or getting into work. These are clear signs of a narcissistic parent. The narcissistic parent doesn't put much time or effort into looking after or helping their children. They don't care, they just leave them to figure everything out on their own. And this often causes them to make a lot of mistakes before they realise what is right and what is wrong. They are not taught about anything throughout their childhood, so how are they supposed to know? If you also have no family or friends around you to support you and tell you what is right and what is wrong, how are you supposed to know? So they go through life on their own. Not paying attention in school, not doing their homework. They grow up not knowing anything in life. By the time they start to figure things out and mature emotionally, they will be in their late teens or early 20s. They will have made many mistakes by this time which they are now having to learn from. Many of them end up in prison or having children at a very young age. Some end up with no job or even homeless. And everyone looks at them as though there is something wrong with them or they are bad people. When they were never taught how to create a life of their own. They were never taught anything. They have lost their way in life due to their narcissistic parent's abuse, neglect, wrong teachings or the bad example they have set. Narcissistic parents are not good role models. But as children we naturally look up to them and try to emulate their behaviour. We think that what they are doing is right. The narcissistic parent shows you everything you should not do. Some of them will even intentionally guide you to make these mistakes. Yet you will still be expected to take full responsibility and accountability for everything that went wrong. Although everything that went wrong or whatever you have done is due to the narcissistic parent's teachings, abuse or neglect. They are looking at you as though they have never seen this behaviour before. The narcissistic parent sees everything that has gone wrong in your life, all of the misfortune or difficult decisions you have made and says "Oh you were copying me? That's what that was... wait, no, you must have been copying someone else. I never did any of that, I never taught you that, you are imagining it. You're in this on your own. You caused all of this, you are a bad person." And you think to yourself, how could they possibly blame me. I followed every teaching, every instruction, every word... to the point where I don't even know who I am any more. But the narcissist cannot accept any responsibility or accountability for your mistakes. Even if they were the main influence in your life. Even if they did teach you everything you know. They will blame-shift. They will project any guilt or shame on to you. The narcissistic parent looks at their child as a sacrifice. You become their sacrifice so that they can obtain their narcissistic supply by watching you suffer. They feel deeply gratified by destroying your life and watching you suffer the consequences. The narcissistic parent feels good when they look down at you and watch you struggle in life. It makes the narcissistic parent feel like they are powerful and in control. They are above you and you will never be as great as them. They need to feel this way because they have an inferiority complex. They are insecure regardless of what they display to you on the surface or in public. If this was not true, they wouldn't need to abuse or manipulate anyone. They wouldn't need to put you beneath them. They only have this desire because they are envious of you, they are envious of your youth. Even when you are very young, they are still envious of you, because they are anticipating the future and how you could progress. How great you could be in the future. The narcissist looks back through their past and remembers their own personal struggles. Every obstacle, every calamity. So now they want you to suffer the same thing or worse. This is why a narcissist should never have children. You have a child, you should want their lives to be better than yours. This is a natural desire that we should have for them. And not just them, anyone in life, you should always wish the best for them. If you are wanting to see them down and beneath you, that really says a lot about you as a person. The narcissist is all good with everyone else other than the victim. They will be around people equal to them or greater and act all humble, inside believing that they are superior to that person. If a person is too superior for the narcissist to handle, they will not want to be around them. The narcissist will only be around people for a certain amount of time if they believe that they are equal or superior to them. Because this is a reminder to them that they are not as great as they think they are. They like to stay close to their victim, whether it's their child or someone else. Someone who is easy to abuse and manipulate. Someone who is easy to take advantage of. So that they can bring them down and then feel better about themselves. Once the narcissist has put you beneath them, they feel more superior. But the reason why they do this is because they are weak themselves. If you are strong and secure, you have no reason to put anyone beneath you if you already believe that you are at the top. They want you to be stuck with them and their abuse until their lives are over. They cannot live without the gratification, attention, validation and approval. Illusion of power and control. Which is their narcissistic supply and that comes from you. They do not care if you get hurt in the process. They would prefer that you do not die, because if you die then so does their narcissistic supply. But if you get killed in the process then that's how it's going to have to be. Narcissistic supply to a narcissist has more value than any human being. They will lie compulsively. They will emotionally abuse you. They will do whatever they can to hurt you and sabotage any progress that you might otherwise make. They want you to be so hurt after that you can never get back up. It makes them feel so powerful to toy with your life. How can they do this? How can they be so evil? Their motive comes from the fact that you are a reminder of everything they are not. Everything they wish they could be. Your youth plays a big part in it. They wish they could be young again and have another go at life. But they can't. So after all of this abuse and manipulation they have inflicted on you over the years... It reaches a point where they want to destroy this reminder. They don't want to be presented with the truth. And they don't want you to share the truth with anyone else. They want everyone to think that you are the problem, you are the bad person. The best way to avoid all of this is if you never open your eyes again. This is the ideal ending for them. That way they have no questions to answer to anyone. The most painful thing for the narcissist is to see their victim getting back up, after they did everything they could to destroy them. And then to see them progress, find someone real and genuine, love and care for them. Someone who will give them everything the narcissist did not and was never capable of. Although they always future faked and made you believe that something great was always around the corner. That is the narcissist's worst nightmare. The narcissistic parent is in competition with their children. In the narcissistic parent's mind, it is an accomplishment to be better than your child. A normal parent will desire for their child to be better than them in every way. If every parent in history always desired to be better than their child, where would we be today? We would be going in a downward spiral forever until we are all extinct. This is the reason why evolution has given us this desire to want our children to be better than we are. Our children must be better than us so that the human race can grow to become better and stronger in every way. Each generation should become superior to the last, not worse off. Surround yourself with good, positive people. People who are like-minded. People who will not believe the BS the narcissists try to create. We all know about their flying monkeys and smear campaigns. But remember, God has created us to enjoy genuine communication with others. It's a shame that there is so much negativity and hate in the form of the narcissist, who acts as an obstacle to us enjoying our lives. But you cannot let that prevent you from living your life. Life is meant to be enjoyed - not endured. So avoid anyone who makes you feel as though you must endure your life just to please them. These are not good people and most likely narcissists. I hope that you have enjoyed this video and I will talk to you in another one very soon.
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