They come back to completely consume everything you have. To kill, destroy and defeat you. To take the last piece and finish off the pie. To make you extremely tired, weak and unhappy. They don't come back because they love you. They don't come back because they want you back. But they will come back under the guise of them doing that. They will give you a false appearence and impression. They will try to manipulate you. After they've cheated on you. After they've discarded you. After they've found someone different to you. Someone better. After they've moved on. They come back with their fake apology and false epiphany. As though they realise how special you are to them. Or as though they've changed. But it's all a facade. Nothing has changed. They're still the same person. They're still going to do what they've always done. And nothing you do is going to fix them.
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They're just going to treat you worse than they did before. They're going to punish you for holding them off. Because all they want is supply. They're coming back to finish you off. To consume whatever is left. They have no limits. They don't know when to stop. They will go to any length to obtain their supply. They will torture you. They will cause you great suffering and anxiety. They will push you to the brink. They will push you over the edge. They will nudge you to suicide or insanity. Because that is the ultimate form of narcissistic supply. When they can make you feel like you have lost your mind. When they can feel like they are the cause of your death. Because it tells them that they have affected you. They have left their mark. It makes them feel powerful and important. It makes them feel like they mattered to you. Which is why you should not let the narcissist back in. Because they're just going to come back to finish you off. When you're finally getting better. When you're finally healing. That is when they will come back. That is when they will try to deplete you all over again. They will suck the life out of you, if you let them back in. They will punish you for holding them off. They will drain you of everything you have. But they're going to act like they care about you. They're going to act like they've missed you. They're going to act like they've finally changed. Which is why you need to stay strong. You need to see it for what it is. You need to realise that it's all a game. A facade. A deceptive appearence. A scheme to position themselves in your life again. So that they can extract what they want from you. So that they can push you over the edge. So that they can get narcissistic supply.
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When the narcissist comes back, you need to set strong boundaries. You need to shut them down. Because they're only coming back for supply. They don't care about you. They don't love you. They don't miss you. If they did, they wouldn't have left you in the first place. They wouldn't have found someone else. They're only coming back because they feel like they're missing out on something. They feel like they've left something behind. Because they can see that you're on the right track. You're following a course that is likely to lead to your success. So see yourself as they see you. And keep it moving. Realise that you don't need them in your life. Continue along your healing journey. And find people of like mind. People who make you happy. People who bring you joy. Become the best version of yourself. And live your best life.
As strange as it might seem, I continue to need these reminders. One day, he's going to come back. He hasn't met anyone who is as honest as me. He hasn't met anyone who accepts him the way that he is and doesn't try to shame him. He never met anyone with so much patience. I am unique. We are all unique and you cannot swap out one person for another. That's okay though because, we're not meant to be with just anyone. I appreciate your writings, Christopher. I also am enjoying watching you and your friend living and laughing and smiling. I know you don't take that for granted. After everything you went through, you can't. 🌺 Carly