The Festive Hoover Attempt

This is the time of year when narcissists love to hoover you. They are expecting you to be in a good mood and full of festive energy. Perfect for them to gather narcissistic supply from you. They are also assuming that because you have been busy preparing for Christmas, you may have forgotten all of the horrible things they did to you. They expect you to be happy and having a good time during the festive season. This causes them to feel intense envy and jealousy. It makes them want to hoover you and then destroy the joyful Christmas you would otherwise have. So to ensure that you do enjoy your Christmas this year, I thought I would make this video as a reminder to you. If the narcissist decides to send you a text, call you, message you on social media. Don't start remembering the good times. That's what people usually do when they are being hoovered by the narcissist. We were conditioned to ignore all of the abuse and manipulation and only remember the good times. But it is those bad times that we need to remember when they are hoovering us.

You don't want to be abused and manipulated all over again. Especially around this time of year. You are not going to have a happy Christmas with them, no matter what they might make you believe. They re-idealize you, hoover you and everything starts off good. But it doesn't take long for them to devalue and get bored of you all over again. Remember the narcissist can never be satisfied or fulfilled. No matter how great of a source you may be to them.

Maybe your narcissist is a family member and you have to be around them over Christmas. Use the grey rock technique. Only talk as needed. If they start harassing you, move to another room, or put your earphones in. Call a friend so that it is difficult for the narcissist to talk to you. Invite other people over, so that the narcissist will have to maintain their perfect image. This will make it difficult for them to abuse and manipulate you. They cannot start a fight out of nothing in front of other people. They are forced to display their perfect image. They might criticize you in front of other people, to try and get a reaction out of you and make you look like the bad person. Or they might do it to play the victim role and get supply from whoever it is they are talking to. In this case, ignore them or move to another room. Do not react, that's what they want you to do, so that they can point the finger at you. The narcissist will always be negative around this time of year. Christmas is a time of joy and happiness. The narcissist does not feel happy. They are miserable people. So naturally, they will be feeling envious and jealous around this time of year. Your positive emotions will cause them to reflect on themselves and how miserable they feel. The narcissist knows that you want a peaceful Christmas at least once in your life. They know exactly what you desire from them. Which is why they will never give it to you. Withholding whatever it is that you want, gives them narcissistic supply. It gives them a feeling of power and control. It validates them and makes them feel as though they are actually worth something. Since they are able to withhold the peace that you desire around this time of year. They can also use it to get attention from you, if you try to resolve the issue with them. The truth is... they are not powerful or in control. If they were, they wouldn't have to do any of that. They wouldn't need to withhold the peace to feel powerful or in control of the situation. They feel so powerless and out of control that they have to do whatever they can to create a controlled environment. Not a controlled environment of order though.

Narcissists have to create a controlled environment of dysfunction. The environment they experienced as a child. They never resolved the traumas they experienced back then. They don't self reflect or look within themselves, so how could they ever resolve anything? That's why they have this intense and obsessive desire to maintain a disordered, dysfunctional environment. They don't want to look within themselves and heal their traumas. It's too painful for them, it's too much work. So they create environments where you can experience the same feelings that they experienced as a child. It satisfies them in some sick, twisted way. Of course we are not like that. We are not like them. We do self-reflect, we do look within ourselves. We do heal our childhood traumas. And that is why we have no desire to create these disordered, dysfunctional environments. We prefer peaceful and ordered environments. We appreciate the joy and happiness of others. What you see in yourself, you like to see in other people. Which is why we like to see other people feeling happy and satisfied with their lives. Which is why the narcissist prefers to see you unhappy and dissatisfied with your life. Because that's exactly how they feel. How you feel inside is how you want other people to feel. I hope this helps you to understand the behavior of the narcissist over the festive season.

I hope you all enjoy your Christmas and look forward to the new year. I understand that many victims of narcissistic abuse will be isolated and alone over Christmas. Maybe due to smear campaigns or because they moved away. The narcissist likes to discard their victims around this time of year, because they know that it will be more painful for you. To watch other people in relationships or with their families enjoying their Christmas, while you are alone. This is intentional and premeditated by the narcissist.

The narcissist understands that you are meant to be happy and joyful around this time of year. So I already know that many victims of narcissistic abuse are going to be completely isolated and alone over Christmas. Or at least, that's what the narcissist wants for you. They don't want you to have anyone to see, or talk to. Well I'm about to sabotage the narcissist's plan. Because I have already decided that I am going to make myself available over Christmas, even on Christmas Day. Not for coaching, but for a chat, completely free. Because believe me, I know what it's like to be alone on Christmas. I hope that you have enjoyed the video. I am available for a chat over Christmas, so please contact me. My e-mail is in the description. Enjoy your Christmas, treat yourself and lets look forward to the new year together.