What do I mean by this? When you drink alcohol or do drugs... these things can be harmful to your health. They can be toxic when consumed. They can affect your mental, physical, emotional, and psychological health. They can even affect you at a biological level. It's the same thing with the narcissists. This is something you need to take into consideration when you are dealing with them. When you are having a conversation with the narcissist, afterward you feel drained and lifeless. This is because they are affecting your energy and health. If they touch you, afterward you feel drained and lifeless. again, it is affecting your energy and health. The more involved you become with them, the worse it gets.
The more contact or access they have to your body, mind, and soul, the better chance they have of depriving you of the very qualities you possess and need to be who you are. Once you move to a physical level with the narcissist, that's when you will really notice the change in yourself. With an emotionally healthy person, you will feel replenished and more alive after being physical with them. With the narcissist, all they have to do is touch you and you can already feel your life and energy being sucked out of you. The more intimate they become, the worse it gets for you. When you are around people, you share energy. This is normal, it is actually harmful to your health if you do not do that. You give out replenishing and nutritionally valuable energy and you are supposed to get the same back. Allowing you to maintain your mental, physical, emotional, and psychological health. Of course, this doesn't happen when you are around narcissists. You give out replenishing and nutritionally valuable energy, but you do not get the same thing back.
Narcissists are not capable of giving you that energy. That's why they have to feed off you, they become dependent on you as being their life source to sustain them in their daily lives. Because they do not have the replenishing and nutritional energy that we possess. So when you interact with these people, you are giving them this nourishing energy and all you are getting back is a sugar rush. It might give you a sugar rush in the beginning, maybe while you are having a conversation with them. But afterward, you will notice your energy levels beginning to deplete. When you have a relationship with a narcissist, you are not only giving away your nourishing energy and getting back low-quality energy in return. You are also enmeshed with them at a biological level. You share the same bacteria and residue with a narcissist. So even when they are not around, it's still affecting you. Even if you have left them, you could still have their bacteria or residue in your car or in your house. This is why it's so dangerous to get involved with these types of people. It's not just a transfer of energy, it goes much deeper than that. There are processes that occur at a biological level when you get involved with them. Processes that affect your mental, physical, emotional, and psychological health. So please keep that in mind whenever you feel like going back to the narcissist.
Do you really want to be interacting with them at a biological level? And you may think that you are missing out on being with them. But all those times you went to restaurants, the beach or wherever else you go, it was only fun because of you. Think about it. They never engaged in a deep conversation with you. They never shared anything significant or meaningful with you. They don't even have the emotional capabilities to do that. They are not real human beings. Everything is choreographed and designed in a way to appeal to you and your own ideas. But it only goes so far, they can never take it to the next level and be that for real. And it's the same thing when you share affection with them. When you are kissing them, you feel your energy gradually being depleted. You close your eyes and in your mind, you're thinking about how you are kissing this person who really cares about you and loves you. It's all in your head. It's literally all in your head. They are not about any of that. You might as well be kissing a corpse. Because really that person is dead inside. Affection is their way of securing you as their source of supply and they can take away just as quickly as they gave it to you. One of their favourite tactics is to withhold whatever it is you desire from them. This is a tactic they learned as children, keeping a toy away from another child. They later became adults and learned how to adapt this manipulative tactic to adults and in relationships. It's a tactic used to get what they want from you, most often what they want is your energy or narcissistic supply. So keep this in mind any time you are sharing affection with them. It seems that when we do this, we end up creating our own fantasy and we apply this to them. And they are quick enough to make us believe that's what they are.
When you have sex with the narcissist, you tell yourself that this person really loves and cares for you. You tell yourself that they are amazing in bed and they really know what they are doing. But if you take a step back and really look at it for what it is, it's only fun because we are there. They were just reflecting back on what we put out. And I think this is something important to think about. What happens during sex is exactly the same thing that happens during the relationship. The love-bombing stage. They mimic you and appeal to your own ideals. They reflect back on what you give to them. They tell you what you want to hear, show you what you want to see. It's exactly the same, just a different scenario. And this is when they really get the opportunity to take control of your body, mind, and soul. This is when they can do the most damage to your mental, physical, emotional, and psychological health. Keep this in mind when you are around these types of people. Without conversations or fake affection, they cannot affect your health. They will make you believe that you need their time and energy to survive, but you don't. That's what is stopping you from recovering from this. You need to take some time out away from these people, at least for one year. I haven't engaged in any relationships or sexual activity for over one year, for the first time in my life. And I feel great, I feel whole. Like the real me. Once you get to this level, you won't want to deal with these people anymore. You will want something more real, more emotionally stimulating to you. Because an empty narcissist can never satisfy or fulfill an emotionally healthy person. Narcissists are repelled by emotionally healthy people, they don't want to be around them.
I've seen some survivors talking about what it would be like to have a relationship with another empath or healed survivor. What it would be like to have sex with them. Well, I can assure you that it will be worth all of the time and effort you put into your healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse. When you finally recover and meet an emotionally healthy person, you will soon realize why it never worked with the narcissists.
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