I talked about how the ex narcissist messaged me claiming that she is living her best life. I have also heard from a client, that they experienced the same thing with the narcissist that they were involved with. After you have moved on from the narcissist, they will try to do whatever they can to make you believe that their lives are so much better now that you are gone. They will take pictures and upload them on social media for you to see. They might be pictures of them in a relationship with someone or displaying something as though they have magically become these happy, successful people overnight. They will be smiling in every picture as though they are so happy now. They will often do the things that you may have wanted to do, but at the time they told you they didn't want to. Once the relationship is over, suddenly they become interested in everything that you were interested in. Often the very things that you were arguing about, now they are interested in that. You may start to wonder how you even broke up since you seem to have so much in common now.
The narcissist is mirroring you, appealing to your own ideals. They want to make you believe that they are everything you wanted, but now you can't have them. So they will strategically align themselves with whatever it is you like or are interested in. It doesn't mean that they care about any of that. In most cases, they are the exact opposite. But they know that if they just continue being themselves, you're not going to care. They are not going to get your attention. They also want to get the attention of the new source. So they become you, or whatever it is that appeals to you. Then they are able to transfer these negative emotions on to you, in an attempt to make you feel envious and jealous of them. It also makes them more appealing to the new source. But remember, they're not really about any of that. Their true character and personality are completely different. They have studied you and what appeals to you, then take on that character and personality. It's all about you. They are just reflecting back on what you are interested in, what you care about. This is designed to make you envious and jealous of them. And it takes the focus off you and what you are doing. You have to remind yourself that they are just reflecting back on what you're about. They are modeling you and your own ideals. And if you take a step back and really assess what you're seeing, you will realize that they're not even remotely close to what they say they are anyway. It's an illusion, designed to appeal to your own ideals.
Narcissists are experts at being fake. They know how to make you believe that something is real, they've had years of practice. They know how to strategically position, orchestrate, or choreograph certain things. They know how to plan or coordinate the elements of a situation to produce the desired effect or a desired reaction or emotion from you. And that's all that this is about. It doesn't mean that they are about anything for real. It is a planned or premeditated orchestration designed to provoke the desired reaction or emotional response within you. The narcissist will then feed off your reaction or emotional response. Narcissists are sadistic, they feed off your suffering and pain. That's why once they have secured you as a source of supply, almost everything they do or say is designed to hurt you. Is the narcissist living their best life? No. It's an illusion that they just want you to believe in. Once you stop believing in them, it detaches your emotions too. You will no longer take them seriously, once you accept that what you are seeing is an illusion and specifically designed to appeal
to your own ideals. They're not really about any of that, but they know you are. They know you're about it for real. They look up to you, they want to be more like you. So naturally, they are going to mirror your ideals and interests and then reflect them back to you. I'm sure you have heard the quote by Oscar Wilde - "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness" And narcissists will imitate you. They will steal your talents, qualities, and traits. They will become whatever it is that you are interested in or whatever it is that appeals to you. They will even take on the role of your favourite singer, actor, or TV star. They will change how they look, how they dress... anything to be like whoever it is that interests you or appeals to you. Because they have low self-worth and low self-esteem. They don't feel like they are good enough as they are, they hate themselves. So they will take on the role of a celebrity that you find attractive. This is why they become so entitled and arrogant with the hoovering. You may reject them or tell them you want nothing to do with them and they are still harassing and stalking you, as though they are something you would want. You can tell them you are not interested and you want to be left alone, but they are not going to listen. Because in their minds, they are this perfect singer or porn star. They have studied this celebrity and mirrored how they look, dress, and act.
They believe in their own illusions so much that they cannot acknowledge a negative response from you. They don't see how ridiculous they look. And this is why they can end up stalking you for years or even an entire lifetime. They are completely illogical, delusional people, living in their own world. A world that lacks any sense or clear, sound reasoning. And they will try to pull you into this world because they cannot exist in reality. This false character, where they have imitated your favourite singer or porn star cannot exist in reality. So for them to be everything you want, you have to be pulled into this fake world where your reality is distorted and you don't even know who you are anymore. They are completely out of touch with reality. And this all comes from their low self worth and low self-esteem, insecurities and inferiority complex. They feel so worthless and insignificant, especially when they compare themselves to whatever celebrity you are interested in. They don't understand that our true worth, our true power comes from our individuality and authenticity. But as I said in my previous video, they have never begun to work on their true character and personality. They have been more focused on being whatever they think you want to see, which is always superficial and never something with any real depth. So this has left them with a very weak character and personality, by default all they can do is be fake, all they can do is pretend that they are something great. Because that's literally all there is to them.
After the relationship is over, the narcissist will try to make you believe as though they are living their best lives. They will try to make you believe as though you missed out on something great. It's just another tactic to try to make you envious or jealous of them. They are trying to project their emotions onto you. They have been observing your life through social media or possibly stalking you in person. They know that you're healing, you are working on improving yourself and your life. You may have changed your diet, started drinking more water, going to the gym, going for walks in nature. Maybe you've started a new career, made new friends, started new hobbies and interests. Now that you have left them, maybe you can finally do the things that you could never do while they were around. Observe your life, observe everything that has changed or improved since you have left the narcissist. And then recognize that the narcissist is observing your life through social media or possibly stalking you in person.
The narcissist isn't living their best life at all. If their lives were so great, they wouldn't even have the time to observe you or what you are doing. They wouldn't even care. The narcissist may claim that they are living their best lives when, in reality, they are just observing what you are doing. They think you are living your best life. They are observing all of the incredible changes you have made in your life. You have made so many positive changes since leaving them. They're looking at all of this and they are envious and jealous of you. They think you are living your best life. What the narcissist is really doing behind the scenes is nothing of progression or personal development. They go for things that are way below the average person's standards. Many of them are in dead-end jobs that a teenager would do. Nothing that a healthy adult who is looking for progression or personal development would be interested in. But they will claim as though they are doing big things. They buy into false dreams and then use this to make you feel envious or jealous. They want you to feel as though you are missing out on something. Or they are doing so great since you are not around. That's exactly how they feel about you. They feel that they are missing out by not being with you. They've noticed that you have made a lot of progress since they have left. While they always made you believe that you could not accomplish anything without them. Well if you're making all of this progress without them, the progress that you could never make while you were with them. That proves that you were not the problem in that situation. Because if they were so great, you would've made far more progress with them, than you have made alone. So it becomes a painful reminder to them that they are not the great people they thought they were. And now they have to watch your progress and live your life.
It hurts them, it reflects negatively on them. So now they have to try and transfer those feelings on to you, by staging these pictures on social media and making you believe that
they are living their best lives. They're just transferring how they feel on to you. You need to take a step back and assess what they are displaying to you. Recognize that any of these negative emotions which they have transferred on to you do not belong there. They belong to the very people that are trying to make you feel that way. Narcissists are miserable, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled with their lives. They have to find a way to transfer those feelings on to you. They're not going to self reflect and deal with those emotions. They want you to deal with those emotions for them. If you are a person at a high level and you expect a high standard. Why would you be so contented with the most minor or minimal things? If you are willing to put the work in and achieve great things, why would you settle for less than what you deserve? Why would you settle for such a low standard? They make it seem like they believe something more, something greater. Yet they use the minor or minimal standard that they have settled for, in an attempt to make you envious or jealous. When in reality they are not satisfied or fulfilled with that either. They're just using it in an illusion in the hopes that it will have the desired effect on you so that they can then feel better about themselves. But in reality, they're not happy with that either. It's just something they had to settle with. They might believe that they are deserving of something more or something greater. But they do not believe that they are capable of achieving or obtaining anything greater and that's why they are so willing to settle for less than they believe they deserve.
So to conclude, the narcissist is not living their best life. They just think that you are.
Comments