If you are with a narcissist, you will give everything you have. You will lose yourself. They will do horrible things to you, but you will still forgive them. You will still give them another chance. But it will never be enough. Nothing you do will ever satisfy the narcissist. It will never make them happy. Because no matter what you do, they will always move the goalposts. They will always change their rules or requirements in a way that makes it impossible to gain their approval. There will always be something else that makes the narcissist happy. Something that you haven't done. Something that you don't have. So even if you do something that makes the narcissist happy, it won't last long. They will forget about it very quickly. And it won't work the next time you do it. You have to keep exploring ideas that are creative and unusual to make the narcissist happy. But by doing that, it will cause damage to you. You will lose your identity by trying to please this toxic person. But even when you do that, they're still not going to appreciate it.
They will say that you didn't have to do that. They will say that they didn't ask you to do it. Because you can never really make the narcissist happy. Nothing you do for them will ever be enough. Many victims try to make the narcissist happy. They build them up. They give the narcissist a better life. They helped them to get a job or to start a business. They made their lives better. But in the end, the narcissist still leaves their victims. Because nothing you do will ever be enough for the narcissist. Because they're not enough for themselves. They're not doing enough, so they depend on you for that. They need that from you. They expect it from you. But nothing you do will ever be enough. No matter how many of their goals you help them to accomplish. Even if you fulfil all of their goals and dreams, they might seem happy in that moment. But the next day it's not enough. They're not happy anymore. Because they moved the goalposts. Now they want something else. So now you have to help them with someone else. You have to do something even more impressive. When you are dealing with a narcissist, they're always going to want something more. They're always going to want something else. They're never going to be truly happy with anything you're doing for them. You have to keep trying harder to make them happy. Whatever you did the day before is not going to be enough the next day. Which then causes you to lose yourself. It causes you to lose your identity. Because you're giving too much to the narcissist. You're trying to do everything for them. You're trying to improve their lives. You're trying to make them happy. And even when you've managed turned them into everything you thought they could be, they're just going to forget about you. They're going to use their freedom of choice. They're going to use their power and right to choose someone who they believe to be better than you. Because now that you've built them up, you no longer fit with them. They think they're better than you. Because now you've created a monster. You've built them up into being someone who is now too big for you. They've stopped having an interest in you as they've matured. But it has nothing to do with you. It's not your fault that the narcissist isn't happy. It's not that you're not enough. It's not that you should have done more. You already did everything you could do. You've already tried very hard to help and please them. You've only got to look at how they're treating you to realise that you can't make them happy. Because if you loved someone, you would never treat them the way the narcissist treats you.
The narcissist can only be happy in the moment. They can only be happy for a short period of time. It doesn't last. It goes away very quickly. Because it's not consistent happiness. So however they're treating you right now, this is as good as it gets. It's not going to get any better than this. Because you cannot make the narcissist happy. And there's no point giving anything to them, because they're not going to appreciate anything you do. Their happiness isn't going to last. Trying to make the narcissist happy is just going to drive you crazy. It's going to make you miserable. So instead of trying to do that, start focusing on yourself. Focus on making yourself happy.
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