Narcissists can be very invasive in your life. They see you as an object or as an extension of them. They do not see you as a separate being with your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. They expect you to conform to however they want you to think and feel. Whatever they want you to believe. If you refuse to do this, overt narcissists will become aggressive to you and sometimes even physically abusive. Covert narcissists are more likely to stalk you and use more subtle tactics to coerce you into however they want you to think and feel. Whatever they want you to believe.
They want to control you and every aspect of your life because it makes them feel powerful. It gives them a narcissistic supply. They are also pathologically envious and jealous of you, as they cannot get the same fulfillment. This is why they are so driven to waste all of their time just to sabotage your experiences in life. Because they cannot get the same fulfillment.
And witnessing your satisfaction or fulfillment with whatever you are doing in your life, triggers them to reflect on their unfulfilment. You may have tried talking to them, just to be spun around in circles and then leaving more confused than you were before. Any interaction with them leads to you being abused, manipulated, and having your energy drained. The conversation has to go the way they want and they have all of these defense mechanisms to ensure that the truth cannot be exposed. So they have all of these perceived limitations or restrictions when you interact with them. There are certain areas where the conversation cannot go, which is completely unnatural. This is why they use manipulative tactics like denial, projection, blame-shifting, gaslighting, and the double bind. This means that when you try to be real or genuine with them, they cannot hear what you are saying. All they can hear is the inner dialogue or the inner critic in their minds. And it's telling them that they are worthless and insignificant.
So when you present yourself to them, regardless of what you think or say, they assume that you think they are worthless and insignificant. This is why they are always trying to project these feelings onto you. They do not self reflect or look within themselves. They do not accept responsibility or accountability for anything, not even their own feelings. So their only other option is to project these feelings onto you. They never acknowledge or accept their emotions, they are always trying to fight them or blame someone else for how they feel. It's like a constant fight with their own thoughts and feelings, which they are then projecting on to you. They choose to do this, they could make the choice to reflect on how they think and feel, but it's painful and they don't want to deal with that. They actually enjoy projecting these feelings onto you, it gives them narcissistic supply and this is something they are addicted to. So why would they ever want to self reflect or look within themselves? Why would they ever want to accept responsibility or accountability for anything that they do? Sure they might be full of hatred, anger, envy, and jealousy most of the time, but that's what gives them the motivation to obtain a narcissistic supply. That little high they get from abusing and manipulating you.
They don't really consider that healing their traumas and confronting these emotions could then lead to them experiencing this high most of the time, without ever needing to abuse or manipulate anyone. Instead, they remain locked into this endless cycle, a survival mode, where they are constantly chasing this sense of power, control, and being larger than life. They carry on their issues from one day to the next, it can go on for years. They do not want a resolution. It's sad but that's just how they are. A weak example of our species. The smallest of disagreements or any little thing that provokes hate, anger, envy, or jealousy within them will cause a narcissistic injury. And while you and I could resolve something like that within seconds, this is something a weak narcissist will hold on to for months or even years. It will be like Groundhog Day dealing with these people. The narcissist has an inferiority complex which then leads to a one-up complex. This is what makes them so competitive. They are obsessed with trying to win. If they had the ability to win, it would all be over in no time. But the problem is, it is impossible for them to win because of their inferiority complex, which then leads to their one-up complex. You cannot win when you have that, so you have to compete again and again with no end. Because you are constantly losing.
Naturally, if you are a person with any level of self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief, self-assurance, or self-respect you wouldn't want to be around these insecure narcissists. But they are not going to let you go that easily, because they are using you to regulate their own self-worth and self-esteem. The problem is, these qualities are meant to be developed from within, that's why they have "self" at the beginning.
So no matter how much these narcissists try to abuse, manipulate, exploit, degrade, and humiliate you, it never sustains their self-worth and self-esteem. Because those qualities are supposed to be developed from within, not from manipulating or controlling anything externally. This results in them being hooked on you like a drug. They go about their day targeting innocent people and then using them to regulate their self-worth and self-esteem. By abusing, manipulating, exploiting, degrading, or humiliating them in some way. And for a few seconds, they feel powerful and in control. But it never sustains them, because those qualities are supposed to be developed from within, not by using any external influences. They also have this delusional mindset, sense of arrogance, and entitlement that you actually want them. Deep down I think they know that you are not interested in them in any way. But if they were to acknowledge those thoughts, they would feel deeply ashamed of themselves for still proceeding to stalk or interact with you.
As we know, narcissists are shame-based individuals who do anything they can to avoid feeling shame. So they will focus on this delusional mindset and tell themselves that they are everything you could ever want. They create a false self, illusions. They try to mirror you and appeal to your own ideals. Because they want to be something that you are interested in. They want attention, validation, approval, and admiration from you. They want to feel desired. But no matter how abusive or manipulative this person may be, they still have this delusional mindset they are still desirable. Because they do not acknowledge their abusive or manipulative actions. They have this inner critic or inner dialogue in their minds and it's very painful for them. So they refuse to acknowledge anything bad or undesirable about themselves. They just tell themselves that they are something great, they are desirable. This is why they will do all kinds of sick, twisted things to you. And, still, stalk and force themselves on to you, as though they are something you would want in your life. It's their delusional thinking, sense of arrogance, and entitlement that pushes them to operate in this way. Never acknowledging how truly undesirable and distasteful their way of thinking, feeling, and behaving truly is.
If you want to avoid narcissists, you could move to an environment where narcissism is not as common. But there will always be narcissists wherever you go. Narcissists are everywhere. Some places may have more narcissists than others, but they are everywhere.
If you want to avoid narcissists, you need to cut them off as soon as you recognize that they are narcissists. There are always red flags, in the beginning, it's just we overlook them. We want to believe that they are good people. When you believe that you are a good person, you naturally want to see the good in everyone else. And this is what causes us to overlook the red flags. You will also get this sensation in your solar plexus area when you are in the presence of a narcissist. If you practice self-love, you will instantly detect when someone is trying to cross your boundaries and you will naturally want to leave and never interact with them again. If you are practicing self-love and working on healing, you will be on an opposing frequency to the narcissist. Two opposing frequencies cannot exist in the same space. This means that somebody's frequency is going to change and it's not going to be the narcissist's. Their frequency is so low. They are shame-based individuals, shame is the lowest emotional vibrational frequency. So naturally, it is only going to bring you down.
You will never leave an interaction with a narcissist at the same frequency as you were before interacting with them. When you have an interaction or even just being around certain people, your frequency will not stay the same. It's either going to go up or down. And if you are around narcissists, it's going to go down. They will also affect your self-worth and self-esteem, often through put-downs or backhanded compliments. They cannot raise your vibration, even if they wanted to. For them to do this, they would have to be whole and complete themselves. But they're not. They have a void and they need excessive attention and admiration to constantly fill it up. So all they can do is take from you. When a person has a void that can never be filled, giving is a very difficult thing for them to do. They expect you to give to them. Remember they have this delusional mindset, sense of arrogance, and entitlement. As soon as you notice the red flags, walk away. Nothing is going to change, it only gets worse with time as they become more comfortable around you. The potency of their supply will decrease and soon enough those backhanded compliments will become more and more overt.
If you practice self-love or if you are a healthy individual, you simply cannot function around these people for long periods of time. If you are at a certain frequency of emotional vibration, you might be able to deal with a person who isn't much lower than you. If they are only slightly below where you are, you could pull them up to your level and have a great time. But when you are dealing with narcissists who have the lowest emotional vibrational frequency, shame. You will not be able to pull them up to your level. They are going to bring you down. So as soon as you notice any red flags or you get that sensation in your solar plexus area. Do not interact or if you are in an interaction, just say you have to go somewhere or do something and then walk away. As soon as you notice any signs or you feel your frequency dropping, it's time to go. So to summarise this video - How to avoid narcissists. Practice self-love, develop boundaries. Pay attention to the red flags, do not overlook them. Be aware of the sensation in your solar plexus area. If you follow these steps, you will be able to successfully avoid narcissists.
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