Give the narcissist a small amount of power or freedom to do something and they will try to get a lot more from you. While giving you the bare minimum in return. They will future fake and promise you everything. With no intention of ever giving back what they took from you. Give the narcissist an inch and they will take a mile. The narcissist will take an inch and take a mile based on your reactions to them. Narcissists make assumptions and jump to conclusions. Their minds are full of chaos and dysfunction so they are constantly trying to resolve the situation in their minds. Their idea of resolving these dysfunctional thoughts has to coincide with their perception and not yours. This is where it becomes an endless battle. You're defending your thoughts and beliefs and they are fighting for theirs, trying to force it down your throat. If you have enough awareness and knowledge of narcissism, you will never accept their perceptions as you will know how distorted and inaccurate they are. Narcissists will make up stuff, lie and even re-write the past just to get their point across.
They are pathological liars. Anything good you do for them will be seen as a weakness or vulnerability. You are seen as something to be exploited and used. You become an object they use as needed to get whatever it is they need at that time. Whatever you give them, whether it's money, material things, your thoughts, and beliefs; give them an inch and they'll take a mile. It is never enough for them. They are always wanting more and more. They will always exaggerate your thoughts and beliefs. Nothing is free for a narcissist. They believe that you have to manipulate or deceive to receive even a small act of kindness. You have to prove yourself externally to compensate your low self worth, self-esteem and self belief. They have never begun to even work on those things. They don't want to deal with that, it's too much work. Why deal with your traumas when you can just project, deny and blame-shift? That's how they think, they don't do any inner work and that's why they will be stuck in this mindset for the rest of their lives. They will not self-reflect or look within themselves. This is why they have to desperately try to prove themselves to you, seeking attention and validation wherever possible. But no amount of attention or validation will ever be enough for them. Which is why, when you give them an inch, they will take a mile. They can never be satisfied or fulfilled with anything you give them. They do not attend to their own emotional needs, they are not self-validated.
Until you develop a level of self-validation, self-assurance, and self-love abundance, no amount of attention, validation, or admiration will ever be enough for them. It will not sustain them for long. They are like bottomless buckets. And over time anything you give to them will become less and less potent. They will need more attention. More validation. More admiration. Until it becomes an obsession, an addiction. No amount can ever be enough for them. You soon end up giving all of your attention, validation, and admiration to them. You have nothing left for yourself. You have no time to attend to your emotional needs. You have no time to validate yourself. This is when you start to develop low self-esteem and low self-worth. You are giving all of your time and energy to the narcissist. Without having any for yourself. But even though you are giving all of this time and energy to the narcissist. All of your attention, validation, and admiration. It still isn't enough for them. Because over time it lost potency. It's not as effective for them as it was in the beginning. So even though you have been isolated and had to give up all of your dreams, friendships, and interests and give your time, your energy, your entire life to the narcissist; It still isn't enough. But give them an inch and they will take a mile. An inch can never be enough for them. Because the narcissist can never be satisfied or fulfilled. So now you are left with nothing. The supply they would normally get from you has lost its potency. Now they need a fresh source of supply. A fresh source of attention, validation, and admiration. The supply they get from you could become more effective to them if they take a break and the smarter narcissists know that. So they will leave you and then come back maybe a few months, sometimes years after the discard phase. Knowing that your supply will be potent. But just know, the narcissist will never experience genuine happiness.
The narcissist will never experience real love. The narcissist will never experience a long-lasting loving relationship. Because no one person could ever satisfy or fulfill them. It makes it impossible for them to ever feel genuine happiness or love. It makes it impossible for us to genuinely love them. And I think this could be one of the greatest flaws of the narcissist. If you do not have love in your heart, you are as good as dead. The narcissist hates love because they know that they don't feel it. They hate our happiness because they know that they don't feel it. They hate our satisfaction or fulfilment in any aspect of our lives, because they know all too well, that they do not feel it. So they remain in this endless chase, obtaining whatever they can. Whether it's people, friendships, and relationships. Money, material things. Nothing ever sustains them, but that doesn't stop them from trying. Because it's either that or they are forced to reflect on themselves and truly realize how miserable they really are and have always been their entire lives. It's just they never stopped to look within themselves and acknowledge those feelings. If they did self reflect that could potentially remove them from the social validation loop. That could be the first step to their recovery from NPD. But they have learned to cope with their disorder. They have learned to like their disorder. And it's so much easier for them to just chase money or people, than to look within themselves. They want the distraction, a quick fix to their feelings, narcissistic supply.
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