The narcissist's family members will often work with the narcissist to assisting in grooming you to become their next source of supply. They work with the narcissist to prepare or train you for a specific purpose. Often to regulate their emotions and boost their self-esteem. Making them feel as though they are something significant or important. Something powerful. When you first meet the narcissist, everything seems normal. It doesn't appear to be anything different from what you would usually expect. But as you begin to spend more time with them, certain characteristics or traits begin to be revealed. You may meet their family. It seems as though everything is normal. You may not see it as anything unusual. You may assume that this defines that your relationship with the narcissist is worthy of their attention. It is something of significance or importance. But when you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the family members often already know that the relationship is not going to be establishing anything of significance or importance. The narcissist is from a dysfunctional family background. Most often the family members are already aware of how the narcissist is treating you. That is how they treat each other within the dysfunctional family. But if they want to keep the peace between themselves, they already know that they are going to need someone outside of their dysfunctional family to be in their presence. Then they can bond over-targeting this new victim.
You may not be the first victim that the narcissist has brought home to their family. There may have been many before you. And if the narcissist's family members have already experienced a similar situation before with the narcissist, they already know exactly what they need to do to lock you in and secure you as their next source of supply. When the narcissist is preparing or training you to become their next source of supply, the family members will often persuade or pressurize you into being with the narcissist. The family members will act as though you are something significant or important to them, as though you are something special or you have a meaningful relationship with them. But they will never reveal or tell you about all of the narcissist's other victims. All of the other victims that the family members have met before you. Victims that the narcissist has broken down right in front of them. The family members will never bring up any of the previous victims. They will never bring up all of the things that went on between them. But in most situations, it has happened many times before. And the family members are fully aware of this. They will even lure you in with fake kindness or fake support. It makes you feel as though you are welcome or accepted by the family members. But although there is this false sense of acceptance, they begin to target your self-worth and your self-esteem. They begin to covertly invalidate you and make you feel as though you are less than who you really are. When you start to realize what is going on and begin confronting them, they all team up together against you. It's as though just by confronting one of them, you have exposed them all. You have triggered all of the family members to self reflect and it causes multiple narcissistic injuries. You begin to see just how dysfunctional they are. And you begin to realize that you are the only normal, sane person in that environment. If you try to leave the narcissist, not only will the narcissist turn against you, but the family members will turn against you as well. They might team up together against you and act as though something is always wrong. But they actually enjoy it. The family members enjoy it when the narcissist brings home these new sources. It's fun for them, it's a form of entertainment. They enjoy acting and playing the role of being accepting or welcoming of you. And then when they start breaking you down, it's feeding them. It's regulating their emotions and boosting their self-esteem. Making them feel powerful and as though they are superior to you. The family members choose to participate in this because they enjoy it. When the narcissist first brought you around them, they already knew what was going to happen. They played the role of being welcoming and accepting, just as they did with previous victims in similar situations. And then when you start to realize who you're dealing with, they all team up against you. It's like they already know how to act in these types of situations because it's something they've done many times before. It's very familiar to them, it's natural.
When you encounter a problem or disagreement with the narcissist, you might try to confide or trust in the family members. You might assume that they are on your side. And they are there to listen to you revealing the problems or disagreements that you have experienced, but that's only so that they can take all of the information back to the narcissist. They're just revealing to the narcissist that you are on to them. You may think at the time that they are going to resolve the problems that you've been dealing with, or that they're going to help you and the narcissist come to some form of an agreement so that you can return to the considerate or respectful environment that they initially display to you. But it never actualizes, nothing is ever resolved. Because they are all in on it and they are all working together. They already know what they're doing, they already understand the effects that it is likely to be having on you. There is no one that you can confide in, in these dysfunctional family environments. You have to leave the relationship and go no contact with all of them. If you confide in the family members, they will take any information that you give to them back to the narcissist. And that's when they all know that you're on to them and that you're beginning to realize what they're doing. That's when they will start showing you who they really are. They're not going to hide behind their masks anymore, once you've figured them out. And none of them are going to side with you. They are going to stick together. Dysfunctional people always stick together. It's familiar to them, it's what they are used to. So they are going to team up against you. They will play games with you. Induce confusion and uncertainty within you. Invalidating you, making you feel as though you did them wrong or you weren't good enough for them. While still targeting your self-worth and your self-esteem, making you feel as though you can't do anything right or you're a bad person. Destroying your character and personality. And molding you into the person that they wanted you to be. Making it easier for them to control you, making it easier for them to use you for your energy and resources. While invalidating you and making you feel as though you were never good enough for them. They're not going to care about anything that you have to say about them. They're not going to give it any acknowledgment or consideration. They already knew exactly what they were doing to you, it's something they've done many times before. But they are not going to let you hold them accountable for their actions and they are not going to feel sorry for any of the things that they have done to you. They knew what they were doing all along, right from the beginning. But they never cared about you, they never valued you or appreciated you as a person. The only thing that they cared about was what you could give to them, what you could supply them with. Other than that, anything else whether it's about who you are as a person or how you feel about the situation, they don't care. It means nothing to them, it's garbage. How is it going to benefit them in any way by considering you or how you feel about the situation. So when you try to leave, they are not going to feel bad for you.
They are not going to provide you with any care or support. They might even try to destroy you before you even get the chance to leave. Because they don't care about who you are as a person, they don't care about how you feel about the situation. It's all about them and how they can benefit, they lack empathy. So they cannot consider you or take your feelings into consideration, it's not going to benefit them in any way. They will act as though everything is wrong. But you soon discover that nothing is wrong. They like the dysfunctionality, they enjoy it. That is the type of environment that they are used to, it's the type of environment that they prefer and that they are comfortable with. They thrive in these threatening, hostile environments. They are fine with the corruption and the indecency
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