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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

Don't Feel Sorry For The Narcissist

I have seen a few comments where viewers have stated that they feel sorry for the narcissist. This is not a good idea and it is actually very unhealthy behaviour to feel sorry for them. They cause so much damage and problems to themselves and the people around them. They have no regard for the consequences of what they have done or are doing. They do not consider the potential harm or danger as a result or effect of their actions and behaviours. They are dangerous people. And when you are around them you are putting yourself at risk. You are risking the possibility of harm or danger to yourself. I believe that people are feeling sorry for them because they have been through some things. They are hurt so they constantly feel the need to lash out at the closest people to them. But that's really no excuse for their actions. A lot of people have had hurtful experiences in their past. Just think about what you have been through with these narcissists and you're not doing what they're doing. So what makes their situation or experiences so different, that they should be allowed to take their pain out on other people? There is no excuse for that. If everyone did that, what kind of world would we be living in? There is no excuse for their behaviour.




When you feel sorry for the narcissist, you are justifying their behaviour. You are saying that it's ok for them to do what they do. They may not understand what they are doing or the consequences of their actions. But they know the difference between right and wrong, they just don't care. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They only care about their own needs and don't mind stepping on someone to regulate their emotions or boost their self-esteem. If you start feeling sorry for the narcissist or trying to help them, you are putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. They are only going to hurt you in the end and exploit you for some benefit or gain. If someone is trying to hurt you, you should not try to help them. You are only putting yourself at risk of danger or harm. They don't care about you. They don't care about how you feel. You may think that you could have done things differently and had a different result with them, but that's exactly what they want you

to think. It wouldn't have made a difference if you had treated them differently or done what they wanted you to do. You still would have gotten the same result in the end, because the narcissist cannot be satisfied. No matter what you do, they are still going to hurt you, they are still going to blame you for everything. That's just how they are and nothing you do will change that. You might feel like you can't let go, but that's only because you're remembering the illusion or fantasy they displayed to you at the beginning of the relationship. You are associating this image with them when really it has nothing to with them. It was just something they used to lure you in. They mirrored you and appealed to your own ideals. They knew what you wanted to see from them, so they played the role to secure you. They might have told you they wanted to establish something significant or meaningful with you, but none of that was real. They were just telling you what you wanted to hear, to keep you around. Instead of remembering all of the fake good times with them, remember everything they did to contradict the original narrative or script.


You should not continue to believe in the illusion or the fantasy while knowing that this person was manipulating or deceiving you. If they had any love, emotional connection or real feelings for you, they never would have treated you in the way that they did. When people genuinely care, love or respect you, they will go out of their way not to damage the connection or bond that you have together. When a person intentionally does things to hurt or disrespect you and doesn't care about what you think or how you feel, they do not have any regard for you. Which means that from the very beginning, they were never with you. They never cared, loved or had any respect for you. Any good that they appeared to do for you was only to trick or deceive, or to benefit them in some way. It was only designed to get whatever it is they needed from you. That's how it was so easy for them to move on like you never meant anything to them. Because you never did mean anything to them. It was all an act to secure you, so that they could extract whatever they needed from you. If you really meant anything to them, it wouldn't have been that easy for them to move on. They wouldn't forget about you that quickly. Everything they did while they were with you was about them. It was about what benefit or gain they could get from you. It was never about giving anything to you. Once they find another person or situation that is more beneficial or favourable to them, with less effort or work, their fake nice character disappears. It disappears because they no longer need you. They can get the same benefit somewhere else with less effort or work, so why are they going to waste their time with you? It was never about you, they never cared about you. It was all about them and what they could benefit or gain from you. They also know that they have nothing to give you, nothing that you are really expecting or wanting from them. So they know you're not going to stick around once you've figured that out. It's all about keeping you around for as long they can extract whatever it is that they need from you while giving the bare minimum or nothing in return. Because they don't care about you, they don't care about giving anything to you. It was never about you, it was always about them and what they needed from you.


Don't feel sorry for the narcissist. Don't feel sorry for someone who is trying to destroy you. Why should you feel sorry for them? They never felt sorry for you. They never cared about all of the pain and suffering they caused you. If someone shows that they care about you, with their actions rather than just their words and they're hurt or going through a difficult time, you can feel sorry for them. You can feel sorry for good people who are hurt or going through a difficult time if they have your best interest in mind. If it's not just about them, if they also take your needs or your pain into consideration.

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