Narcissists want attention. They want you to react to them. But when you grey rock, it makes their tactics ineffective. It leaves them unable to intimidate you. Because they will disregard the rules. They will do things that are insulting and unfair. Just to make you react. They will invalidate you. They will make it seem like what you've done for them isn't a big deal. Or they won't give you any recognition. Even though they may have been homeless. They may not have had any food. They may not have had anything going on in their lives. But you got them out of that bad situation. You lifted them up. But they will turn around and say that you didn't do anything for them. Or that everything you did meant nothing, because you did one thing that they didn't like.
Narcissists love to discredit and invalidate you. To make you feel like you are the one who is worthless. As though you did it all for nothing. As though you wasted your time. As though you got played and used. Because they want you to feel bad. And they don't care about how you feel. They want you to feel like you're nothing. So they will say things like that. Because they want a reaction. They want you to go and point out all of the things you did for them. They want you to prove yourself to them. Because it gives them the reaction that they're looking for. When they know they're getting to you. When they know it's not right. When they know it's wrong. They know they shouldn't be ungrateful for everything you've done for them. But they want you to feed into it.
They want you to get upset. They want you to feel like they don't care about everything you did for them. Because they know what it's like to feel unappreciated by someone. When you know you've done a lot. But if you don't respond or feed into it... If you don't get angry or upset. And you tell them you don't care or you just say "whatever"... Then you've deprived them of their means of attack. Because you've taken away their ability to hurt you. You've taken away their ability to make you feel insignificant. Because you couldn't care less. You're not concerned about it. It doesn't matter to you. So it destroys what they were trying to do. Because they wanted to hurt you. They wanted to get under your skin. They already know that what they're saying is wrong. They know it's messed up.
They know that it could upset someone, after they've invested so much time into something. But they will even lie to you. You may know that you're good at something. And you may feel very confident about it. But they will tell you that they never liked it. They will tell you they were just being fake. Because it's meant to erase everything you did. To make you think you were never significant or beneficial to their lives. To dismiss you as unimportant. So they will tell you they were faking. They will tell you they didn't care much about it. Which is why you need to know yourself. You need to have confidence in your own qualities and abilities. You need to know what you're good at. Because these tactics are meant to mess with your mind. And it will leave you to become unsure of yourself as you begin to move forward.
It will affect your confidence. It will cause you to become shy. Because they told you they never liked something about you. So now you may begin to question if other people were lying to you too. You may question if other people were just being nice. Which is why you need to know who you are. You need to know what you've done. You need to know what you've put out. You need to celebrate who you are. Because no one else is going to celebrate your achievements like you can do for yourself. And you need to greyrock. So that you're not giving them the satisfaction of feeling like they're bothering or hurting you. Because then you're taking that power away from them. Because it doesn't even affect you.
So they don't get a reaction. But this is why they like to see your face. They like to do it in person. Because then they can see your facial expressions. But even over the phone, they can pick it up on your voice. So they will know if something is bothering you. And even through text, they can tell if you're angry. They can tell if they've got to you. So they're always looking for a reaction. Because they want to know if they've affected you. And they may have liked everything you did for them. They may have been satisfied with it. But because they want to hurt you, they will lie and say that they didn't like it. They will say that they didn't care about it. Because they understand the effects that it will have on you. They understand that it will make you feel insigificant.
When you deserve more recognition than that. But when you greyrock the narcissist, it takes that satisfaction away from them. And this is why they don't like you to see them going through something. Because they don't want you to have the satisfaction of seeing their struggles and pain. They don't want you to see that. They don't want you to laugh at them. They don't want you to know. Which is why they will ghost you. Which is why they will stay hidden. When you greyrock the narcissist, it takes their pleasure away from them. It stops them from being able to enjoy your pain. It stops them from being able to bother you. It stops them from getting under your skin. And when they don't get a reaction out of you, they will leave you alone and move on quite quickly.
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